One humorous experience I had time and again at Affiliate Summit West involved employees of affiliate networks trying to sell me.

This is meant as advice, not criticism, but I have a tendency to come across as aggressive or critical in my blog posts from time to time, so this is my disclaimer. That’s really not what I’m trying to do here.

First of all, at least be straight up about it and get to the point ASAP. You aren’t going to trick affiliates—we recognize a pitch when we see one. Think about how we make our money. We sell things to other people, and we do it all the time. It’s no secret that you make money every time we sell your product, so we know why you’re in this. And, because the affiliate industry does have its sleazy elements, we’re exposed to scams and deceptive marketing all the time—a decent percentage of affiliates even participate in this themselves. Really, you’re not going to trick us. We get it. We know what you’re doing, and it creates an awkward situation when you try to sell us while pretending that’s not what’s going on because we stand there trying to be polite while you run through your spiel. Really, it’s like going up to a car salesman and trying to sell them a car. Often times I was embarrassed for the person talking to me, because the pitch was so transparent.

I think the best way—and with me, the only way—you have a chance of getting me on your network or promoting your product is to “SHOW ME THE MONEY.” I know I talk about Shoemoney a lot here, and it’s because I think his advice is really solid and to-the-point. So I’ll borrow one of his stories here and because I’m mixing it with my own thoughts, the story is italicized, and keep in mind the quotes are basically what was said but not word for word.

Shoemoney promotes ring tones, as most of my readers probably know, and he’s good at it. In the story I’m thinking of, an affiliate network (I believe) called him up and tried to get him to promote a ring tone offer of his.

The first feeling going through an affiliate in this situation is “ugh.” It’s because we’re so used to this, and there’s usually nothing you’re going to tell me over the phone that I haven’t heard before or that isn’t available on your site.

In his situation, Shoe cut to the chase by saying “how much do you pay per lead? And how do you convert?”

Tip: Please, please don’t reply with “we pay the highest” or “we guarantee the largest commissions” or one of the hundred other oft-made claims. It sounds to us like BS and because everyone says that, it’s meaningless. Very few affiliates would think “Wow, sweet, the highest payouts?!” What we want is NUMBERS or PROOF. Not jargon, but real information. How much do you pay? What’s the conversion rate? Those are the first two questions that come to my mind, and I’m looking for actual data-style numbers, not hype or marketing talk.

Back to the story—the guy on the phone said something like $14. Well Shoe was already at $18 or $20, I can’t remember the specifics) so things didn’t sound too good. But, because the guy was persistent, Shoe humored him with what I thought was a great offer. “Look, you approached me” Shoe explained, “so you know who I am and that I can deliver. On the other hand, I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know if you’ll really pay me. So I’ll tell you what, give me a $50,000 deposit to ensure that I can trust your guarantee and I’ll give you a chance.”

Not surprisingly, there were stutters and the conversation ended without any kind of deal. To sum up, my advice (as an affiliate) to people trying to sell to affiliates is to make it quick and don’t do anything that could possibly be interpreted as being deceptive. We’ll see through it very quickly and you lose your credibility and end up looking like a schmuck, often without even realizing it.